Tea for the Tillie Mom

Tea is on the hob. Sit down for a spell.

A Cottage by the Sea. A Staggering Cat.

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I booked a week off work to detoxify my head, meditate and try to cure my laryngitis. The plan didn’t take. Life intrudes.  Plans change.  I should know that well enough by now.

Frankie is my accidental cat of the past twelve years.  He is the sole survivor of ‘life before widowhood’, that reference point that brings me back to those little moments, the silly talk and the compromises of marriage with Eoin.  He is the furry, shedding link to the Heidi of then, and the Heidi now.  Last Saturday, Frankie suddenly fell from the kitchen worktop.  I caught him mid-way, but when I lowered him to the floor, he fell over onto his side.  He rose, staggered, fell again, then staggered on to the sofa and slept.  Frankie has had a stroke.  He spent three days with the veterinarian, where, among other things, we learned his blood count was quite low, which may be stroke related, or possibly an infection.  He’s home now, mainly confined to the spare bedroom where he dines alone on some very exclusive pâté-type cat food and staggers between his dish, bed and litter tray.  All we can do is wait and see….

Meanwhile, as I stalk Frankie throughout the house like a ghoulish documentarian, gaugeing his progress, other matters are afloat.  I have four weeks (less) to pull my act together and move self and crew to our new digs on the seaside.


Mentally, I have everything packed and organised; literally, not so much. I’m doing the mathematical acrobatics in my head of how I’ll get the money together, how to get things organised and packed, and most significantly, how I’ll get my larger items (bed, bookcases, chest of drawers..) from point A to point B.  My current mantra when I start stressing out is, ‘I have all that I need within me to get this shit done.’  And, truthfully, I do.  I’m resourceful.  I’m plucky.  I just don’t always feel that way.  I also remind myself of how incredibly fortunate I am to have landed this place.  It’s so beautiful and entirely worth all the craziness I’m experiencing now on the build-up to the move.  I have all that I need within me…  Some boxes wouldn’t go amiss though.




Author: tilliemom

I'm a daughter, widow, mother and grandmother with two dogs, three cats and a good camera. I live in Wexford, in the southeast of Ireland. I love to read, play poker and argue. I dedicate a huge amount of energy to avoiding grocery stores. Grocery shopping involves making decisions and I seem to falter at that sort of thing..... I'm interested in photography, poetry, feminist theory(ies) and Lacanian psychoanalytical theory. I'm in a transition. This is a new blog. We'll see what happens.

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